I never really liked christmas all the while cause it was always a bad time for me, like I would get pretty upset over r/s problems. and I realized I'd never exactly gotten to celebrate the season with my other half in all the years I was in a r/s, since I was 18? (except maybe for one year).. It was always a post-xmas celebratory kinda thing.. This year's one was surprisingly fun, sweet, and somehow memorable too. Kinda weird and silly, popped into an indian club which I find really funnyyy! also played silly games, the kind u played in primary school, pepsi-cola, chopsticks etc HA, so cute and funny :D

Decided I should try to pen down more of my happier feelings/thoughts I have and not just the bad ones.. Was reading thru my old blogs few weeks ago and I realized they were mostly filled with negative posts - failed relationships/friendships and resulting lack of confidence, fear, hopelessness and lost faith. I was also A LOT more open and mindless in sharing my thoughts then, sounded like a freaking retard, and some posts rather angsty ...even had a blog war with a certain b**** hahahaha. Locked up all those blogs because I'm no longer THAT comfortable in sharing my private thoughts. but all in all despite the drama which happened, I am glad I kept blogs thru the years..lets you know that life never knocks you down forever.

Shall attempt to make this a happier blog i think! :)

love discount

It's strange how some people in life you meet you know you can easily open yourself to wholeheartedly, and how others you know you can just never trust or believe in. How some people can leave you with indescribable feelings of attachment just after the first meeting, others with strange doubt even after many.

Experiencing yet another bout of the blues and confusion; they come and go..

So what's new?

How many times can I break til I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after

mad!

thinking about ur xxx msges to her makes me so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!! and you don't bother to explain even until now.

cool off my head

lucifer

Been feeling very down and tired lately. You know that feeling? When you are so tired of having to stay strong, tired of putting up a mask at work, tired of hiding the pain you feel inside. When pretty much nothing makes you feel happy anymore...

The only one thing that makes me happy is to dance. The concert was last monday, I really did enjoy the entire process of preparing, practising and ultimately performing. The adrenaline rush, the excitement, the cheering and support, it makes me feel alive :)

Now that it is all over, there is nothing for me to look forward to anymore.. sob. sigh. :(

cooling off period, I hope I don't regret this :( I got to be firm. decisive.

...emptiness

Miss those days when i was 18, a very gullible and naive person i was then, where everything was much more simple, straightforward and carefree. Right now, everything that presents itself to me seems to come with a catch. Nothing is simple anymore... Always guessing people's motives, always forced to think a step ahead of others, in a bid to prevent myself from getting hurt in the future. Am i growing up to become a more complicated person, or are the people around me getting craftier?? Think I'm thinking too much again...

But along the way I learned one thing about life; it goes on, you get hurt, but after each fall you just gotta pick yourself up and learn to keep up.